Anyway, I didn't go back to sleep but I also didn't get out of bed to go to the gym. Totally silly, I know. I resolved to get in a run after work (something I had failed to do after hitting the snooze button the day before).
After work, the gym sounded just as unappealing as it had in the morning. Outside though, the fog was rolling in and it was cool. I realized I should just push myself out the door and down to the water. I started out much faster than usual but I felt strong. I ended up running 5.20 miles in 40 minutes.
I stopped about three miles in to take some photos (and also to catch my breath because I was afraid I couldn't keep up the pace if I didn't). This is what I saw:
While I was running I was listening to this mix on shuffle. There was the usual scenery--the San Lorenzo, the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, the municipal wharf, West Cliff Drive with its big houses to one side and water dotted by surfers to the other, Light House Field, other runners in neon attire, couples on their evening strolls and dogs of various sizes pulling on leashes--mostly I was in my own head though. The pace felt hard but it also felt sustainable. I felt good (really good, even).
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When it's 6 in the morning and your covers are warm from sleep, it's sometimes hard to remember why you run (even if you have a list in your head ready for such occasions). I run for runs like tonight--for the stretches where I don't have to distract myself with puppies(!) and waves and gardens and pretty houses; the stretches where my surroundings turn into a blur and I couldn't tell you what song just played; the stretches where I know I'm pushing myself but I also know I have enough left in me to finish strong; I run for the stretches where I am in that moment, fully (even if that feeling only lasts for a mile or two).
After tonight, I'm feeling motivated and refreshed and content. Sometimes I need a run like this to get me going again. After tonight, I'm looking forward to a weekend spent in Santa Cruz (and a race over the hill). And to finally getting around to more posts (about camping! our anniversary! and more!).
(ps: you can see my run here.)